Soon...

It has been many months since I have posted. I get ideas...I take photos....I write in my head, but time hasn't really allowed me to spend time recording the words here. Soon I hope to write more regularly. I look forward to that. Writing seems like one of my basic necessities...food, water, exercise, affection, sunshine, and writing.

Just starting right now has made me feel better...I'll be back soon.

I have been enjoying my summer though.

Busy

Busy, busy, busy, busy....many thoughts but no time to record them. Fortunately this drain on my mental adventures is short lived....get through April, fill the class and then ahhhh..... back to life as I have come to enjoy it! Not only is work busy but the visitors are starting at home - Sam's brother and then my parents and my uncle and then Lauren and perhaps my niece....and various kids mixed in as well. I keep checking my web cams and when I can I sneak a read of various blogs, but for the most part I am working during the day and collapsing at night! Geesh!
More soon....

Buzzzz....hummmm....ribbit!

This weekend I spent many hours out in our yard. It was the first dry weekend since January and the warmest since October, so being inside was not an option! The Japanese maple trees are budding, the cherry tree is in full bloom, rhododendrons have bursts of color all over and everything feels alive.

I wondered how many people never have the chance, or take the time to stop
and hear
and feel
and smell
and see the world around them.

I stood under the cherry tree and wondered if it might levitate - the buzzing of hundreds (thousands?) of honeybees sipping the sweetness from the blossoms was a steady, raging, sound. I could almost feel the vibration of thousands of wings above me. I cheered the bees on, having recently read that humankind can only exist for 2 years if honeybees disappear.

The hummingbirds were focused on sucking the nectar from the currant blossoms but they don't stay in one place for long and when a hummingbird whirs by on its way to the next treat, the sound is a sudden reminder that one false move could result in hummingbird beak impalement to the head. They go with such speed - they act frantic with hunger, but they always seem playful. I suspect that they buzz humans just for the thrill.

As the day warmed I became aware of a loud and distinct snapping sound coming from the Douglass Fir trees in the neighbor's yard. The fir cones open up on warm days, spilling their seeds to the ground - even after the sun set last night I could still hear the pops and snaps of cones opening.

The frogs in our pond were especially noisy last night. Sam had cleaned the pond and it was as if the frogs were hosting a party for their newly cleaned and restored abode. Rather than the occasional "ribbit," there was a steady, roaring chorus all night long. I suspect that no one in the neighborhood had a sound sleep.

And then the smells - the creamy sweetness of Daphne floats on even the slightest breeze and there is an Italian bush of some sort next to the pond that has a deep fragrance...the lilacs will bloom soon and I breath deep their scent for as long as the flowers last.

Last night the moon was clear and the stars were bright and we took the dog out without needing coats...life is good.

"No man sinks under the burden of the day. It is only when yesterday's guilt is added to tomorrow's anxiety that our legs buckle and our backs break. It is delightfully easy to live one day at a time!" --Corrie Ten Boom

Keep dreaming

FOR A NEW BEGINNING

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is one with your life’s desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

From Benedictus: A Book of Blessings
By John O'Donohue (Bantam Press 2007)

I could probably stop right there.

I read this to Sam last night and it was not necessary for me to comment.

I didn't need to tell him that this speaks to my soul - that it washes over the place in me that wants a life far away from the current patterns and demands.

I especially love the line "find ease in risk."

Today marks 10 years at my current job. That is the longest I have ever committed to anything (other than the kids.) Before this my longest stay in any job was three years - I remember passing the three year mark here and being amazed that I had stayed so long and now here I am. I was "nearly 40" when I started here - you can do the math on that one.

Quick update on previous blog entry: When Robert F Kennedy Jr spoke here he talked about the coal mining in West Virginia and how they were blowing the tops off of the mountains there.

Yesterday there was a report on NPR about this: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102572761&sc=emaf

The EPA is reviewing this practice with concerns about the pollution to waterways. I was astounded to hear evidence of a real change in policy, only 10 weeks into Obama's administration. RFK Jr was correct - this current administration really does get it! I have been reading articles on the BBC and also in The Olive Press (an English language newspaper about Spain and specifically Andulucia -southern Spain) http://www.theolivepress.es/

Both publications have so much more information about the condition of the environment than anything that gets reported in the US. It really is an urgent situation and so to have Obama make a move to reverse the free-for-all that Bush oversaw for 8 years is really encouraging.

That's it for today. Cheers-

Dreaming of warmer days

4:05 PM: Outside it is partially cloudy

So the calendar tells me that it is spring, and yesterday I even mowed the lawn for the first time this season, but today we have had bitter cold mixed with hail, periods of sun and then darkness and torrential rains. I wish that each type of weather would glump up together so we would have enough sunshine to work outside or go for a walk, and then enough rain/hail to justify indoor projects. Instead, on days like this Sam will go outside in the sun and have his tools ready for an outdoor project (currently building a deck) just in time for a rainy spell to chase him inside where he gets out the needed items for his indoor project (currently re-modeling the half-bathroom) and then the sun blasts through the window making us both feel guilty that we aren't outside taking advantage of the good weather.
And on and on it goes.
For months.
Oregon.


4:15 PM: I just looked out the window and it is snowing.

On a warm sunny day I can instantly forget what it is usually like in Oregon for 9 months of the year. I don't hold a grudge, I am happy to move on and live fully in the moment, when it is warm and sunny. On a cold, dark, wet day (i.e. November-May) I get irritable, depressed, resentful and often ask how anyone can live in this "god forsaken land." But then a sun break will tame me again. I have done this for 27 years now. My first winter in Oregon I could not believe that anyone would choose to stay in such a place. I had no doubt that my one-year experiment would end and soon be forgotten while I settled in a more habitable climate. But then the daffodils bloomed in February and I started to soften a bit. By April we occasionally had days warm enough to sunbathe, and by June it was hot, and for weeks the 10-day forecast showed nothing but full sun....I was hooked. By the time reality hit again I was commited to a job and it was too late to make other plans.
So, here I am.
Still.

4:17 PM: I just looked out the window and it is sunny with large patches of blue sky.

I have always been puzzled by the fact that weeds and grass grow year-round in Oregon. Well, as long as they get watered in the summer. How is it that we can have 9 months of rain, but if we don't start the sprinklers within a week of the rain stopping, the grass starts to die? It is the only place I know of where the grass needs to be mowed as early as February, but not in August because it is dead.

But it is beautiful here.
Always.
And so I stay.
For now.

No Time to Stop at the Market

If I lived in Barcelona I would go to the Boqueria Market on my way home from work each day, but Fred Meyer doesn't have the same pull on my soul, so I am getting pretty good at using up the food in the pantry and fridge.




My latest snack:


Mock Chips

Pre-heat oven with pizza stone to 400 degrees
Cut a whole wheat tortilla into chip-sized pieces
Spray pieces lightly with fat-free cooking spray (top only)
Sprinkle with Kosher salt
Put "chips" on pizza stone in oven
Cook for 8-10 minutes until chips are crisp
Serve warm with salsa, pico de gallo, hummus, or whatever is available

Dinner:

Protein-packed pasta
1/2 package whole wheat pasta (I prefer farfalle - bow-tie)
1/2 -3/4 cup feta cheese
1/4 cup sun dried tomatoes (preferably ones stored in olive oil)
1 cup black beans (drained and rinsed)
1/4 cup pine nuts
pepper flakes

Cook pasta -
While pasta is cooking mix cheese, sun dried tomatoes and black beans in deep serving bowl
Drain pasta and add to serving bowl
stir pasta until cheese is melting and other ingredients are mixed in
lightly toss in pine nuts and top with pepper flakes to taste

This also works well with left-over pasta

One more:

Moroccan chicken with a splash of peas
1 large boneless, skinless chicken breast, or 8-10 chicken thighs
1 can low-sodium garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
several carrots, peeled and chopped, or 10 baby carrots
1 can low-sodium diced tomatoes
cumin
cinnamon
hot sauce
frozen petite peas
olive oil

In a large skillet, cook chicken (if using a breast, slice into bite-size pieces) in small amount of olive oil
Once chicken is mostly cooked, add diced tomatoes - let simmer for 2 minutes
Microwave carrots in bowl of water on high for 2 minutes
Drain carrots and add to skillet
Cover and simmer for 3-5 minutes
Add garbanzo beans
season with cumin (1 teaspoon, or to taste)
generously add cinnamon (again, to taste, but I use 1-2 teaspoons)
Add hot sauce (about 1-2 teaspoons)
Cover and simmer for 2 minutes
Add 1/2 package of frozen peas on top and cover and let cook just until peas have warmed through (about 1-2 minutes)
Mix all together and serve with brown rice or couscous

Imagine how much fun I would have with the fresh veggies, spices and meats of the Boqueria!

Life, Death and Nutella

First, on Nutella...discovered today that there is a World Nutella Day!
http://www.nutelladay.com/
The calendar has been marked so that this will not be overlooked next year. I have started making hot chocolate with Nutella - one heaping tablespoon stirred into 8 ounces of milk over direct heat...yum. For snacks I have switched from graham crackers to Wasa bread as the foundation for my Nutella, since Wasa bread is less fattening than graham crackers! Nutella is a good thing - always makes me happy. And it is gluten free, for those who wonder.

On death...I've been listening to John Denver lately while I run - his songs set a nice easy pace and the words and melodies are comforting. I wonder as I listen to "Poems, Prayers and Promises," if he had any feeling that he might not live to old age:

I've been lately thinking
About my life's time
All the things I've done
And how it's been
And I can't help believing
In my own mind
I know I'm gonna hate to see it end...

...And I have to say it now
It's been a good life all in all
It's really fine
To have a chance to hang around...

...The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it's cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
For though my life's been good to me
There's still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known...

I think that he would have been very sad to see the direction our country has taken and especially to see the anti-environmental policies that have dominated the past 8 years - he sings of West Virginia and the Blue Ridge Mountains in "Country Roads."

Almost heaven, West Virginia
Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains,
blowing like a breeze...
...Country roads, take me home
To the place, I belong
West Virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

According to Robert F Kennedy Jr last weekend, West Virginia's mountains are being mined to the point where they are becoming non-existent and look more like parking lots from the air - and the Shenandoah River has become a dumping ground for all types of waste. All practices protected by the Bush administration.

But more on death....the other night Sam was snugging in for the night when he asked me what I think it is like to die in your sleep. Hmmmm....I think it is something we all hope for (a longggg time from now!), but I never thought about what it is like. I suppose it isn't like anything. You go to sleep and you don't wake up. I said to him that it isn't like you'll wake up the next morning and think "Damn, I died in my sleep and I had so much to get done!"

You just stop.
And nothing matters to you anymore.

And now on life....well, that's what is happening. I seem much more aware than ever before of the passing of time. Each day I mark mentally as one more gone - I want to live in a way that doesn't just push the days aside trying to get to whatever is next.
This is it.
This is all I get.
If I am to spend my days where I am then I want them to count for something. We just don't know if "someday" is going to be there.

Cheers-